EXCERPT
Under the soft, warm covers, the lovers were now engaged in a relaxed, post-orgasm cuddle. Aaron’s head was resting on Konner’s upper chest. Aaron combed his fingers through Konner’s chest hair making periodic stops to enjoy the texture of his nipples.
Konner cradled his arm around Aaron’s torso, holding him snug against his body. He used his fingertips to give soft, intimate caresses over Aaron’s back and shoulders, savoring the feel of the warm body pressed against his own. Without warning, what felt like drops of chilled water, fell onto Konner’s chest. Looking down to investigate what was causing this sensation, he discovered teardrops trickling down from Aaron’s eyes.
In an instant, Konner asked, “What’s wrong? Why are you crying? Was I that bad?”
Aaron let a cute, small laugh slip out, despite his tears. “No. You’re a fantastic lover. And you’re gorgeous to look at. It feels like a slice of heaven lying here with you.”
“Thank you. You’re sweet.” Konner pleaded, “So, then what’s wrong? What’s got you so upset. Talk to me.”
Aaron produced a loud sigh. “I feel like shit! My behavior is appalling, considering what I did to you. You didn’t deserve it! I’m so ashamed of myself.”
Konner wiped away his tears using the pad of his thumb. He pulled Aaron in for a tighter squeeze. “What are you so ashamed of?”
“You mean, you don’t know? Surely, you must know what I did to you?”
Konner wrinkled his brow and slightly cocked his head. “I think I know what you’re talking about, but I want to hear it from you. Tell me. What are you ashamed of?”
Aaron’s body trembled, and he felt a thickness in his throat, making it hard to swallow. Before he could speak, he took in a deep breath, and exhaled. “I’m ashamed of seducing you. You should’ve been treated better. Much better!” He raised his face up from Konner’s chest to look at him with steady eyes and a radiant glow. “You’re sweet and kind, a good person.” With an appreciative sigh, he said, “I’m very attracted to you, and I haven’t been with anyone for a good while. I couldn’t stop fantasizing about having sex with you. After you and I had lunch at Art’s, every time I thought of you, I’d wind up with an agonizing erection”
“That bad, huh?” asked Konner as he giggled. “Well, you didn’t need to let yourself suffer with a hard-on that hurt.”
“Trust me I didn’t. Like every guy, I took matters into my own hands. But now, I’ve made a complete ass of myself, letting my dick do all the thinking.”
Konner felt the sincerity and remorse in his words. “Okay, I accept what you’re saying. But—why did you do it? Because being honest about it, you had me freaked out! You’ve been very generous to me. I would even say, you’ve been an amazing friend. Your friendship means much more to me than being a distant cousin. Can you imagine how you made me feel, when out of nowhere, you’re shoving your dick in my face, blatantly trying to seduce me.” He paused his words for a moment. “Hey look. I’m not going to lie here and pretend to be innocent. Like the old saying goes, ‘It takes two to tango.’ It’s been a while for me too, since I’ve been with anyone. So, I’m not going to let you take all the blame. I have to accept responsibility for my own actions. Even so—you made a deliberate, conscious effort to seduce me. I want to know why? What’s the real reason? Besides the obvious fact you were horny? And please—tell me you didn’t spill the Coke on yourself deliberately?” He looked into Aaron’s face, awaiting a reply, but Aaron’s eyes averted from Konner’s gaze. His chin quivered. “Oh, Aaron!” Konner barked in a sharp voice. “How could you? You did that on purpose, didn’t you?” He received a confirmational nod. “You should be ashamed of yourself,” he said in complete disgust. “It’s one thing, to have thoughts of seducing me, pop into your head while you were showering, but what you did was premeditated! You set yourself up, knowing you could use it as an excuse to take a shower. Then you made an appearance wearing nothing but a towel and your sex appeal.”
Aaron’s eyes pooled, and he laid his head down on Konner’s chest again, his heart yearning for forgiveness. “I’ve been hurt many times in the past. Remember I told you about how people have used me.” Konner used his eyes to signal an answer of yes. “I’ve had countless men who were only interested in the contents of my pants and didn’t give two shits about me. I could sell my body for ten-thousand dollars, and yet I’d only get fifty cents for my soul. I put up a guardrail so I wouldn’t get hurt, but I wound up developing a bad habit. Whenever I saw an attractive guy I wanted…”
Konner interrupted. “Let me guess. You would play your David Kirkman card and seduce him. Is that it?”
“Yes—that’s it. I figured I could use men too. If I enticed them into bed, then I wouldn’t be the one being hurt. I mean, I still have needs. I wanted a sexual outlet for myself.”
Konner pondered Aaron’s words and took a deep look inside his own heart. A willingness to have compassion surpassed his anger. He took in a deep breath and made a conscious effort to calm himself down. “Aaron, I say this with the utmost kindness, but you’re a fucking hypocrite! And you’re not being a good person. Not at all.”
Aaron raised his head up again so he could look Konner in the eyes, “What do you mean? How am I being a hypocrite?”
“Because—you want to be just one of the guys when it suits you, and not the David Kirkman, who’s always in the spotlight. You want to be Aaron, just your typical, run-of-the-mill, nice guy. Someone who doesn’t have to worry about the image he projects to the world. I’m sorry—but you can’t have it both ways! I don’t mean to hurt you, I truly don’t. But you can’t use the advantages of your celebrity status only when it suits you. And then you want to be treated like a good, decent person, and not some beautiful china doll that sings.”
Aaron’s tears began pouring again. “Fuck, you know how to sting someone when you want.”
Konner placed his fingertips under Aaron’s chin, and tipped it upwards bringing his lips within reach. Then Konner kissed him to convey the message I care about you. “My words sting for one reason,” he said firmly. “And one reason only.”
Aaron signaled with a nod that he understood and said while sniffling, “I know. Your words sting because it’s the truth. I’m being a total, hypocritical piece of shit!”
Konner reached around with his other arm to bring Aaron into a tighter embrace. “Don’t cry. I’m willing to give you a do over.”
Using his bare hands again, Aaron wiped his tears away, “What’s… What’s a do over?”
“I mean—I’m willing to let you do everything over. If we could pretend this never happened, what would you do differently?”
Aaron reflected, “I’d…,” but he struggled for an appropriate response. He knew it had to be a good one. “I’d say you deserve to be asked out on a proper dinner date.”
Acknowledging the spirit of his answer, he said, “Okay then, there’s your answer. If you had to do it over again, then that’s your answer.”
“So, will you go out with me then?” Aaron begged.
Konner said in an effort to be playful, “Now, you can’t ask me here. Not in bed when we’ve just been fucking. You need to ask me out like a real gentleman would. And I should warn you, I never put out on a first date.”
His good nature made Aaron smile. “Well, when would be a good time, so I can practice being the perfect gentleman?”
Konner gave a knowing smile to Aaron, “You’re a smart guy. You’ll know when.”
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